Why Running from Discomfort Is Like Fleeing a Bear: Lessons on Resilience and Courage
Never run from a bear. Building courage in moments of discomfort.
Sit in Your Discomfort | First in a 6-part series for anyone who feels adrift and needs direction.
#1 Sit in Your Discomfort
Never Run From A Bear
[Disclaimer: I am not a bear expert. I have never come in contact with a bear in the wild. Please don’t take my analogy as a recommendation. Learn more here.]
If you ever encounter a bear in the wild, resist the impulse to run. Fleeing can trigger a bear’s instinct to chase.
Instead, you stand your ground and make yourself look big.
Sitting in discomfort — like being face-to-face with a bear — demands courage.
Running away from difficult emotions may feel right, but sometimes, you have to stand your ground and make yourself big.
Pausing in the uncomfortable stillness — while your heart races and your mind conjures up a million horrific thoughts — is an opportunity to learn something about yourself.
Sitting in discomfort cultivates resilience, teaching us that we can endure and adapt to an overwhelming, constantly changing world.
Sit in your feelings. Don't stew, but feel them to understand them.
But like any practice, it requires a consistent commitment and may take a lifetime to learn.
I still catch myself finding ways to stay busy as a way to avoid painful feelings that I have known for decades.
But in those moments, I take a brief pause and ask myself:
- Where are you? What are you doing?
- How did you arrive at this moment?
- What are you feeling?
- What are you avoiding? What does it mean to you?
- What would it mean to face it? What would happen if you chose not to?
Hopefully, I’ve gained a bit more clarity about the situation, what led me there, and what I’m actually feeling.
Then, the fun part! What do I do with this new awareness?
I have a choice to make:
- Keep doing what I am doing, or…
- Sit in my discomfort and acknowledge the feeling.
This isn’t easy. Does it sound easy?
Over time, I can catch myself closer to the origin of the discomfort before I get too far in avoidance.
Like building muscle, you will start to feel stronger, experiencing the compounding effect of these tiny moments of awareness.
You may discover greater empathy for the people in your life and approach the world’s complexities with ease — open arms and a willing heart.
It might even spread to the people in your life! Can you imagine everyone close to you taking time to sit in their feelings? Not stew in them but, feel them to understand them.
So, now what?
The next time you catch yourself avoiding an important task, conversation, or one of the many life stressors, you pause and reflect.
Try asking yourself at least one of the questions above.
Then, see how close you can get to the edge of understanding your discomfort.
Oh, and don’t worry too much. You don’t have to linger for too long.
And hey, at least it’s not a bear.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my work. If you enjoyed this piece, share it with the people in your life who you think would enjoy it. Paid subscribers can share their takeaways and feedback in the comments.
If you’re ready for part 2, here you go:
Eric Kerr
Extra Credit
Every morning, I dedicate around 12 minutes to either a seated meditation or a mindful stroll around my neighborhood – no phone, no music, just me.
It helps me set a tone for the day and prioritize the never-ending list of tasks I've committed to for the day.
I recently started following the Ten Percent Happier podcast and I think you should check it out.
It has a variety of content, from short guided meditations (Check out the one below!) that are easy to incorporate into a busy day to longer episodes that delve into various topics. Enjoy!
Take less than 8 minutes and try this mindfulness meditation.